Distractions surround my very existence by consequence of merely living in this age. The technology, the simple availability to educate oneself at the click of a mouse, the few taps of a finger on a smart phone, and updates from NASA on Twitter. There is an endless array of possibilities for new information, and I am swimming in it all. Diving, soaring - sometimes screaming into the chaos of it all by means of social media. Sometimes hoping others will find value in what new, insightful (I hope) things I have to say. Always hoping someone else will gain from my sharing of this knowledge something new that, in turn, inspires them.
Is social media the right place for this knowledge? Please let it be, for I can't find refuge and solace in the cat memes and these redundant pictures of weddings and babies. Let there be another soul which hungers for more than these things.
I want another piece of knowledge that will keep me up at night. It may sound insane - I've already spent the last week in a daze from the repercussions of a knowledge hangover. I indulged for a long spell in Stephen Hawking, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and How the Universe Works documentaries, and it put me behind in my school work, but I won't say I feel worse for the wear; my experiences have been absolutely the contrary. I can only say I feel I'm getting somewhere - somewhere in my conscious I didn't know was possible a year ago.
It's a funny thing when you start really to open up your mind. More than anything else, I've felt a huge divide from the person I was only months ago. I feel what a peculiar thing it is to go from one state of mind that feels in hindsight as though I was restrained, to feeling now as though the answer is at my finger tips. It's in science in the millions of articles and data for which I decide to browse.
Before I would tip-toe the Web - take any scientific research with a grain of salt, subjecting any "facts" I saw to verses I remembered from the Bible. Very little made it through to my critical thinking processes while in this sort of paranoia.
I know I can't and won't go back to Christianity, no matter how I will be viewed by members of my family. I cannot fathom believing again that the universe is only thousands of years old, or that our species came to be from one mature male and one female.
As far as I am concerned right now we are all stardust, with the potential to become something much bigger than our current physical, human forms millions of years from now. And if one in my family tells me that this afterlife is bleak, I don't know what in his or her argument could make me think otherwise.