Re-reading some older material, I realized how different my reasons for writing have become. I no longer "write to cope," as I had once fairly recently claimed. Now I believe writing for me is half for my own enjoyment, and half to sort of document for others my learning experiences, so that, in turn, others might prevent making the same mistakes I've made, or, rather, they can compare our experiences and learn something more about themselves. I've tried to accomplish the latter half quite delicately with colorful phrases in poetry, and quite bluntly with my posts with plain text. I don't particularly think writing for either reason is wrong, or that one reason for writing is better, but what I have realized from it is that altering my reason for doing what I love doing most is a HUGE change.
I will allow now the disclaimer that most people who know me well know that I overthink things...to the nth degree. That known, I'll probably be making some over-analyzed statements about my new reasoning for writing, but I'll try to take it all on face-value as much as I am able.
I probably don't need to validate the fact that I now write for others. Most of my recent posts have to do with empathy, and they've meant to be uplifting - particularly geared towards others, for instance, who have battled as well with severe depression.
I've found that what would make me happiest in my life is being able to help people by geniunely being myself, and wearing on my sleeves the person I am DUE TO the person I was. If I can carry around my "BEFORE" picture - out there for everyone to see, in my writing - then perhaps others who recognize that screenshot in themselves would be able to come forth and ask me questions. That would make all my own suffering worth it, because having others who can relate - from their own experiences, past and present - would create a togetherness that is so rarely experienced in today's mediums. I think of how impersonal SnapChat, Pinterest, Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook are compared to the old letters, long-face-to-face conversations, and telephone calls of yesterday, and I feel blogging and writing novels about similar modern daily struggles are among the few outlets for these big types of conversations.
The conversations that count are taking place in these rare places, but for the people who are still willing to read to find relatability here - to empathize deeply through the words of others - I'm here.
I'm here, writing for those very reasons.